You were done. Just done. You were giving up. "Whore. Worthless. Useless. Waste of space. Going nowhere with life. Stupid. Fat. Ugly." How could you possibly want to carry one with all this verbal abuse from your family and peers? What was the point of life?
'Maybe it's true....' you thought as you sat on your bed, twirling the sharp blade in your hand. 'I wouldn't be such a burden on everyone if I just disappeared ...' You lightly ran the cool, smooth, sharpened steel blade across the main artery in your arm.
You chuckled to yourself as you imagined everyone you knew just carrying on with their lives without you. Everyone wouldn't have to deal with you anymore... 'I won't be their burden to carry anymore...' You sighed. You wished you had the guts to just do it. tear a gash up your arm right there! But you couldn't.. 'I'm such a coward....'
Suddenly, a knock came from your door. You didn't move. You sat there with your __e/c__ eyes glazed over, just staring at the knife on your wrist. The bell rang again, Followed by a voice. "__name__? You home, aru?" called the voice from the other side of the door. It was your best friend and roommate, Yao Wang.
That's right. You hadn't really spoken to him in a few days. He had taken you in after your parents had kicked you out when you told them you weren't a Christian. When you told them, they freaked out, verbally abusing you and hitting you a few times. They literally threw you out of the house and told you to never come back. So you ended up staying with Yao. You had only left your room to use the bathroom and when you were dragged out by Yao only to have to force you to eat. You would just sit in your room, in the dark, and think about how much better things would be if you weren't around.
"_-_name__?" he asked again, knocking on the door harder. Still no answer. "Aiyah.." he sighed. "__name__, come on out. I know you're hungry, aru. Let's have some lunch, okay?" he said as he tried to open the door. There was no answer. "__name__." he said sternly. "This is really immature, aru." he picked the lock with the paperclip he kept above the doors molding. "Just hiding in your room like a- __NAME__! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ARU?!" he shrieked as he opened the door to find you sitting on the bed, knife in your hand and blade pressed against your delicate skin. You didn't acknowledge him. You just sat there and stared at the knife. Yao ran over to you, grabbed your wrists in each hand, spread your arms away from you, and pinned you on your back against the bed. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, ARU?!" he yelled. "I-I'm done, Yao..." you said with tears forming and running out of the corners of your eyes like little rivers. "What do you mean 'done', aru?" he asked concerned.
This sight before him broke his heart. You were usually so strong and happy and full of life, but now, you looked pathetic and fragile, like you would break at any moment.
"I'm done living, Yao.." you choked out. "I'm tired of being walked on and being a burden to everyone around me.. I want to die.. I don't want to burden you with my presence anymore... I'm worthless. Pathetic. A waste of space. Lower than dirt. I don't deserve to live.. It would just be better if I weren't around..." Yao couldn't believe what he was hearing coming from you. Surely this was all just a prank.. He slightly loosed his grip on your wrists. You smiled sadly and moved the blade to your throat. "Goodbye, Yao. I'll miss you..." You said as sweetly as you could.
Suddenly, Yao grabbed your empty wrist and pinned it next to your head and took the other wrist, with the knife in it, and held the blade to his own throat. "NO. I refuse to let you kill yourself, __name__. Do you not realize how much I care about you, aru?! This is not how you deal with problems! If you do this, You're just running away from your problems, aru! You are stronger than this! So what if you got kicked out of your house?! So what if your parents hate you?! Even if everyone were to turn against you, I'll still be here for you, aru." "Yao...." you breathed. You couldn't say anything else. You were just so touched by his affection, saying that he cared about you. "I'm sorry, Yao.. But this is just something I need to do.." you said as you tried to move the knife closer to you, but Yao held it in an iron grip at his throat. "If you kill yourself, I will too, aru." he said in a serious voice. Your eyes widened. 'Yao... Kill himself over me?...' "Why would you do that?!" you cried. "Because I care about you so much. Please, just go back to being the happy __name__ I know and I'll be happy too." he said with kind eyes. For a minute, you just lied there with him still pinning you down. Then you relaxed your hand that was holding the knife and smiled weakly. "It's a deal" you whispered.
Yao smiled at you and got off of you, taking the knife from you. "Good. I'd be so sad if you would have actually done it, aru." he chuckled slightly. "Sorry... I just couldn't think of another way out." you sighed. "Thanks for stopping me, Yao." You smiled, kissed his cheek and went into the kitchen. Yao just stood there blushing tomato red, with his hand on his cheek where you kissed him.